Gabrielle's Spoken Word Project

Gabrielle's Spoken Word Project

"The Mask"

I am an ordinary girl,

In a sick sad little world.

Every day I hide how I truly feel,

I have emotions, what’s the big deal?

I often cry myself to sleep,

Because of all the secrets I keep.

I breathe, hear silence, and cry more,

All I feel all over is ache and sore.

I’ve changed myself so many times,

As I get older the mountain is harder to climb.

Every day I think how everything can be a lie,

I’ve had enough to make me breakdown and cry.

I’ve been tortured with memories to my heart,

I feel like I’m falling apart.

As soon as I get home I take off the mask,

Dealing with the day is a troublesome task.

As I lay down and dream about what I want to see,

I ask myself, when will I finally be free?

In public the mask appears,

Hiding all the pain, unhappiness, and tears.

Acting as a happy person every day,

My fake smile never goes away.

As I fall asleep and wonder what my dreams will be,

I know that someday, very soon, that I’ll be free. 

Chacachacare

Every year around the 25th of May, my family is invited on a party cruise. The party cruise took use to Chac to explore the island. I went on the boat with a few groups of friends. As the boat set sail, I passed a few islands including Carrera ( The Prison Island). I remember passing Carrera and seeing the prisoners dance and wave to the music. When we reached to Chac, I decided to go on a hike and not to the beach. I hiked to the Leper's Colony. The Leper's Colony is where the Lepers lived. Nurses took care of them. However, it's all abandoned. I remember seeing the graves of the nuns. I saw the inside of where lepers lived, and there are broken floorboards and staircases. I hiked to the lighthouse after. The hike took very long because it was extremely hot, and the light house was at the top of the island. The area was abandoned and had a power plant. It reeked of oil there. Unfortunately, there wasn't much to see there, but there was an amazing view of the whole island. I returned to the boat and sailed back to Pier 1. I remember seeing dolphins in the wake of the boat. It was a fun, historical experience.

New York Trip

On July 11th 2008, I took a vacation to New York. I stayed at my aunt's apartment. The neighborhood was extremely noisy. There was drag racing, street parades, and people blasting music. The first place I went to was the Bronx Zoo. I saw my favorite animal which is a giraffe. I saw gorillas, lions, hippos, camels, penguins,etc. It was a pretty cool experience. The 2nd place I went to was Carnegie Deli. It's a famous restaurant in NYC. Many celebrities dine there. The restaurant is famous for its big plate of pastrami and the huge cheesecake challenge. I completed them, it was an accomplishment. For the rest of the trip I went shopping and spent time with my cousins. On the last day of my vacation in NY, I went to watch a play. I can't remember what it was about, but now as I think of it, it wasn't a great play. The next day I left and said my goodbyes to my family. NY was a city of great opportunities, and I hope to return soon.

Exploring London

In September 2009, I went on a family outing to London. At the time, I was living in London, but I went to explore London. I went to the Thames Festival, the experience there was exciting. I went with my family and a group of friends. I traveled through several subway stations to get to the Thames Festival. When I arrived there, the place was crowded! I remember seeing many gift shops and a variety of vendors. There was a few rides in the festival, it was mainly slides. I remember there were many street performers. I saw quite a few contortionists, frozen statues, people playing guitar, people singing, people dressing up and acting as celebrities, and magicians. My group went to the huge park where it had an acrobat stage. I was actually allowed to learn how to do acrobatics. I remember learning to swing from one bar to the other. It was a fun experience. There was also sports to play, there was football, volleyball, archery and cricket. I participated in all sports, and I even made new friends. For lunch, I went to one of the vendors. I remember the banner saying "Big Burger", I thought it was a normal big mac, but I was wrong. It was a 30 oz burger! I couldn't finish the whole burger. I was able to share it with 3 people. Later in the day, I went to Madame Tussauds. It was a really exciting experience because I got to see wax models of famous celebrities. I also went in a torture chamber, I got to experience what a public execution is like. I also got to experience 4D.  I remember being in a cinema, and watching a little girl go on an adventure. I could feel rain, wind, snow, heat, and other elements. I was a great experience in a cinema because not only I was watching a short film, I was in it too. Lastly, I ended the day with my group with a beautiful view of London, while riding on the London Eye. It was about 20 minutes long. I wish it was longer because the view is worth it. At the end of the day, I had an fantastic experience with my family and friends. I hope to return one day. 

Visiting France in 2009

In the summer of 2009, I went to France. The main purpose of going to France was to spend time at EuroDisney.  On August 12th, I left my home in England and traveled

on the EuroStar to France. I went underwater in a train! In order to get to France, I had to cross the English Channel and the only way to go was underwater. When I was on the train, I couldn't see any water, I was travelling in a tunnel.  I arrived in France at 12:15pm. I jumped on a bus and went straight to Disneyland. When I arrived at Disneyland, I received balloons. After checking in the hotel, I went to my hotel room and placed my baggage in my room. Since the time then was 12:45, I went to the amusement park. I remember walking down the pavements, and seeing the castle. The first ride I went on was the teacups. I was driving the teacup with my brother and my Dad. The second ride was Big Thunder Mountain. I'm not a fan of roller coasters.  In the ride, there was a tunnel to go through, and the tunnel was completely dark. It freaked me out because I could feel my stomach dropping and I didn't know what was happening because it was so dark. After the ride, I remember coming out crying because I hate the feeling of my stomach suddenly dropping.  I went to dinner later that night , and the food was delicious. I remember ordering shrimp cocktails for the starters, and a 8oz steak for the main course. I had tiramisu for dessert, it was delightful. At midnight, I went out to the parade and fireworks. I saw Mickey Mouse, Princess Jasmine, Ariel, and Cinderella. The best part was seeing their faces in fireworks! On August 18th, I went to the Eiffel Tower. It was a beautiful experience. I remember riding in a tour bus for 2 hours, and watching different tourists sites as I passed by. When I got out of the bus, I had to wait in a long line, to finally enter the tower. Going on the elevator, was a good experience, because the elevators aren't rectangle. The elevator is a square based triangle. It was quite exciting going up the tower, I remember seeing an amazing view of Paris. At last at the end of the day, before going back to the hotel, I got my face drawn. It wasn't a realistic drawing but it was a cartoon drawing. It turned out great and it looked a bit goofy. I returned home on August 19th. Leaving France was a bit sad, but I had a wonderful experience. 

Everyone else was laughing...

It was a cold, December day. The breeze was as cold as ice. The sky was a dark as coal. It was storming all day. I jumped out of my bed, expecting to see a bright, sunny morning. Instead, it was a dark, rainy day. I got ready for school and looked out my window. The rain seemed to stop, so I decided to walk to school without an umbrella. That was a bad idea. I walked a few blocks down from my house and it began to pour with rain once again. I was getting a little bit frustrated because I always think that I’ll be right but I’m always wrong. I reached to school late because I was being splashed by rain puddles too many times, as cars past me near the pavement. I entered school looking like a mess. My hair was as wet as a mop, my clothes were hugging my skin, and my shoes were all wet and dirty. I walked into my class, and everyone was staring at me. I ignored them and sat at my seat in my desk. My teacher, Mrs. Morrison, who was as old as the hills, told me that I should go to the office and get clothes to wear from the donation boxes. I walked down the halls, with my shoes squeaking and slipping on the floor, leaving a long puddle of water from my drenched hair, clothes, and feet behind me. At the office, I received warm, dry clothes that were baggy and a bit too big. I thought that the clothes would fit me right. I was wrong again.

At break, I went on the monkey bars with my friends. We had a competition to see who can stay upside down the longest. I have a fear of heights, and I don’t know what came over me to encourage me to go upside down, but somehow I did it. By this time, I didn’t have my shoes on because I was in the sand and I didn’t want to get sand in my shoes. I was hanging upside down, and then the bell rang to go back inside. I was too scared to get down. Line by line, everyone was heading back to class. I was getting anxious about what my teacher would say to me. I tried to wiggle myself through but that ended up terribly. My class had a clear view of the playground from our windows, and they were watching everything that was going on with me outside. As I tried to wiggle myself through the bars, I slipped out of my trousers! I was so embarrassed. I watched my class laugh at me through the windows, I was devastated. My teacher got me a sheet to wrap myself in. I walked into school in the hall of shame. I was as mad as a hornet. I was really mad at myself for always thinking that I’m right, but I’m wrong. Luckily, that was the last day of the term and everyone got over the incident because they were too excited to go home for the holidays. 

The Things in Life that I am Grateful for...

I was blessed with many things in my life, more than I can count. I have an amazing family, who are loving and caring. I have a wonderful home. I have food on my table. I have an education, I have many things. Those things would've never came without prayer. I'm grateful for the life I have. I'm grateful for not living in poverty, or in a war zone. I'm grateful for the life that God has given me. Even though, I ask many times, why me? I realize that I have many things to be grateful for and I shouldn't be selfish because many people don't have what I have, and by being upset because I don't get what I want is very selfish and disrespectful. I commit sins everyday, I always think that God may be angry at me. But God provides so much for us, even though we do many sins. I came to realize that God hates sin, and not people. He does a lot for us, and we still disrespect him. I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to follow him and be a child of God. I'm grateful for God being in my life. I would've been going straight to hell if he wasn't in my life. I'm grateful for the friends I have. They have always been by my side, and supported me when times were rough. I'm grateful for my parents. They are best things in my life. They always provide for me, they are always there. When I get in arguments with them, they still love me. I regret being rude and disrespectful to them because I truly don't know what it's like to sacrifice so much for a person. They brought me in this world and protected me from all the perils and dangers, that this world has been corrupted with. I can't imagine my life without them. I love them so much, and I can't imagine losing them. I'm grateful for the powerful God that I have, and what he has in my life.

Never take things for granted because they can vanish in seconds.

The Change in the Music Industry

Have you ever wondered why people listen to music? Everyone listens to music everyday. People's thoughts on music are very different. Some think music is the best thing in life, others think music is a way to express their feelings through soulful lyrics. People use music for many reasons. They use it to calm themselves, concentrate, or to drain their emotions. Ever since the 70's, music from the past few decades have become very different from music today.

In the past music used to be about being happy, having a good time, the ills of society, having a relaxing or dancing feeling to when you listen to it, etc. People were enjoying themselves through the tunes of music back then. If you listen to music from the 70's -90's, you'll probably get the same feeling too. The way people danced to music back then is COMPLETELY different to what it is today. For example, people in the 70's used to dance disco moves. Dance moves like the electric slide, shows that people are dancing and having fun. Music in the past is mainly known for people enjoying themselves through dancing to music. 

However, music today is totally different to what it was in the past. Pop music is all the same, rock music is mainly about expressing your sorrows. All these genres have changed in its own way. A type of music genre that has changed the music industry immensely, is rap music. Rap has a catchy tune, but it can be very offensive. Today, rap music has a lot of obscene language, urban meanings, inappropriate and sexual meanings,etc. It's not a good example for kids to be listening to, because they often repeat the lyrics in places they shouldn't.

Dancing has changed a lot from the past to today. In the past the dance moves used to be appropriate and giving the message of enjoying the music. Today, all you see on the internet and tv is wining, grinding, backpopping, twerking, and etc. It isn't appropriate for kids to do, neither teens. It shows no respect for themselves. If you watch music videos on rap music, all you see are ladies showing off themselves in obscene ways. It's disrespectful to be watching people dance inappropriately. Imagine yourself as a parent, someone sends you a video of a girl dancing. You click on the video, and you recognize your daughter dancing inappropriately in a public area. How would you feel? Wouldn't you feel embarrassed or disgraced?  A really bad example of a famous person who kids look up to is Miley Cyrus. She used to be Hannah Montana, but she desperately wanted to lose her imagine as her, and began to act inappropriately. Kids have been picking up things after all of this nonsense was introduced to them.

The bottom line is, music has changed a lot since the 70's. It's becoming really disgraceful. I'm not saying that you shouldn't listen to the music or anything. It's your choice, and whatever you choose, you should be proud of it and use it wisely. I'm saying for my opinion, that music has changed drastically and it's not respectful to me at all. I was brought up in life, to be responsible, independent and respectful. Just by listening and watching those music videos made me really offended. My message isn't meant to be offensive. I'm sharing my thoughts on the way life is changing. I don't mean any harm to you or your opinions and I truly respect your thoughts.  

Thanks for reading, I really appreciate all your comments and thoughts. 

Bestfriends Forever or Bestfriends for Never?

Bestfriends are one of the best things in life. They can keep secrets, hangout at the movies or go shopping, and do other things to have a better and stronger relationship. It is a pleasant feeling to have someone who you can trust and express your feelings to. However, sometimes a bestfriend can be the worst friend. I have an experience with one of my "bestfriends". I thought that she was someone that I can trust, relate to, or be comfortable around. I was terribly wrong. I wish that I had never made that mistake, I wish that I would have seen her true colours the first time we met. I want to share my experience with you because it's a good example on how to pick friends. 

This is my story.

We had been friends for a few months, and we went to each other’s houses not very often, in that span of time. As a few weeks went by, she started to avoid me a lot. I didn’t know if I did something wrong, or if we weren't meant to be friends anymore. I desperately tried to at least talk to her, but every time we talked I’ll only get on one worded answers, such as, ok, whatever, and sometimes she'll say I don't know or I don't care. I think I got the clue that something wasn't right. I decided to talk to her, and make things clear with her, not in an aggressive way. I finally had talked to her and we had agreed to hangout more often because we wanted to catch up on things. She promised me that we would hangout more often. We planned to go watch a movie on a Saturday, but she cancelled on me; I thought that she was busy so, I let that go by. Weeks later, she had been cancelling on me all the time, and I was wondering why. Why couldn’t she plan some time with me before hand? Why couldn't she tried planning for once? I found out that the mean, obnoxious girls in my class had convinced her that I was a bad person, and that she shouldn't hang out with me. I wasn't really hurt, because I knew that those girls in my class only wanted me to suffer. I went to a few teachers and talked about the situation that was happening with my friend and I. They had talked to her about it, and she replied to me as if i betrayed her or something. 

One day, I received a email from her, with the title, "I'm Sorry...". I was a little bit concerned by this email, so I read it. She started off the email with a few sentences with concerning words.

" I don't have the guts to tell you this in person so I will tell you on email. The reason I haven't been talking to you anymore is because we're both very different. You don't really fit in with my family or me. By the stories you have told me I have realized what you have been through. I know you're trying to change but I think its best if we are just classmates. I don't want to hurt your feelings. I don't want you to tell anybody, or else the whole world will think I'm the meanest person on earth. I don't wanna be mean to anybody. I dont want you to cry about this."

I was really worried just by the first few sentences of her email to me. I thought I did something wrong, I felt as if she was really angry at me. I wasn't sure if something has happened in her family and she needed to let out her anger. I thought she needed some confrontation.

She continued "I've tried but I feel that our families are very different. You were raised differently than me, too. I know that you would want to talk to me after this but there's nothing to talk about. You treat people very differently than I do. We have different personalities. My family don't like you. No one likes you. We were only pretending to be nice. We know you have no friends."

By this time, I was feeling heartbroken. I wanted to know why she would do anything like this. I knew that she wasn't the type of person to say mean things like this to anyone. 

She ended the letter " I've been meaning to tell you this for a long while. I have talked to a few classmates and my mother and they have all agreed that I should tell you this in person. Everyone thinks that you were born differently so we're going to continue to pray for you. I don't care what you think about me after, it doesn't matter anymore."

I was devastated. I felt really stupid for believing in her. I had no desire in making friends anymore. I wanted to hide somewhere and never be found. I wanted to be alone. 

That was my experience and I want to give you a few tips on how to detect real friends and fake friends. 

How to know who real friends are?

1. Try a trust test.
Talk to your friend and tell him/her a made up secret, for example, when I was younger I used to steal things from the teacher's desk, or something like that. This test will prove if your friend can keep a secret. If they share the secret to someone else, then it's obvious that your friend isn't trustworthy.

2. Watch how comfortable your friend is around you.
While you are hanging out with your friend, make sure that you pay attention to her body language. Ask yourself questions such as, is she pretending to be happy? Is there something she/he isn't comfortable with? True friendships are hard to develop, if she/he is comfortable with you, then you should feel comfortable with them.

3.  Determine his/her loyalty.
If you get in a argument with your friend, test her and watch if she would blurt out on of your secrets. If she/he blurts it out then, she/he isn't loyal. You can also test to see if she would stand up for you. For example, you're in a heated argument with a group of girls/boys and your friend stands up for you by saying "leave him/her alone." and you walk off together. That's an example of loyalty, it shows that your friend is by your side. 

How to know who fake friends are?

1. People who don't remember your birthday!
If you hangout with someone very often, one of the first things they should know from the very start, is your birthday. Imagine how you would feel if someone forgot your birthday for something not important. For example, let's say it's your birthday and you said to your friend "Do you know what day it is?" and your friend replies "Oh right, I'm going to the mall with some of my friends." Wouldn't you feel unimportant?

2. People who aren't interested on how your life is going.
If your friend can't bother to ask how your day went, or what have you been up to, then obviously your friend doesn't have the slightest bit of care for you. Don't waste your time on people who don't matter.

3. People who always cancel on you.
It's really upsetting when your friends constantly cancel on you. It makes you feel like they don't want to hangout with you for some unknown reason. It makes you so concerned for someone who doesn't have the nerve to tell you that they don't want to hangout with you. It's better to say the truth at one time, rather than keeping it for a while, lies build up easily, and it will make it hard for you to clear it up.

In conclusion, these are my tips to you on how to ensure that you have a true friend and not a fake friend. You don't want to go through my situation because it takes a long while to recover from having a lot of self-hatred. From this experience, I learned to never trust people unless you are sure that they are trust-worthy. Even though, I moved to a new school, they still gossip about me behind my back, but at least i've moved on and they are still behind. I hope this helped you in a way that has touched you specially. I wish the best to my readers. Thank you for reading!