Bestfriends Forever or Bestfriends for Never?

Bestfriends are one of the best things in life. They can keep secrets, hangout at the movies or go shopping, and do other things to have a better and stronger relationship. It is a pleasant feeling to have someone who you can trust and express your feelings to. However, sometimes a bestfriend can be the worst friend. I have an experience with one of my "bestfriends". I thought that she was someone that I can trust, relate to, or be comfortable around. I was terribly wrong. I wish that I had never made that mistake, I wish that I would have seen her true colours the first time we met. I want to share my experience with you because it's a good example on how to pick friends. 

This is my story.

We had been friends for a few months, and we went to each other’s houses not very often, in that span of time. As a few weeks went by, she started to avoid me a lot. I didn’t know if I did something wrong, or if we weren't meant to be friends anymore. I desperately tried to at least talk to her, but every time we talked I’ll only get on one worded answers, such as, ok, whatever, and sometimes she'll say I don't know or I don't care. I think I got the clue that something wasn't right. I decided to talk to her, and make things clear with her, not in an aggressive way. I finally had talked to her and we had agreed to hangout more often because we wanted to catch up on things. She promised me that we would hangout more often. We planned to go watch a movie on a Saturday, but she cancelled on me; I thought that she was busy so, I let that go by. Weeks later, she had been cancelling on me all the time, and I was wondering why. Why couldn’t she plan some time with me before hand? Why couldn't she tried planning for once? I found out that the mean, obnoxious girls in my class had convinced her that I was a bad person, and that she shouldn't hang out with me. I wasn't really hurt, because I knew that those girls in my class only wanted me to suffer. I went to a few teachers and talked about the situation that was happening with my friend and I. They had talked to her about it, and she replied to me as if i betrayed her or something. 

One day, I received a email from her, with the title, "I'm Sorry...". I was a little bit concerned by this email, so I read it. She started off the email with a few sentences with concerning words.

" I don't have the guts to tell you this in person so I will tell you on email. The reason I haven't been talking to you anymore is because we're both very different. You don't really fit in with my family or me. By the stories you have told me I have realized what you have been through. I know you're trying to change but I think its best if we are just classmates. I don't want to hurt your feelings. I don't want you to tell anybody, or else the whole world will think I'm the meanest person on earth. I don't wanna be mean to anybody. I dont want you to cry about this."

I was really worried just by the first few sentences of her email to me. I thought I did something wrong, I felt as if she was really angry at me. I wasn't sure if something has happened in her family and she needed to let out her anger. I thought she needed some confrontation.

She continued "I've tried but I feel that our families are very different. You were raised differently than me, too. I know that you would want to talk to me after this but there's nothing to talk about. You treat people very differently than I do. We have different personalities. My family don't like you. No one likes you. We were only pretending to be nice. We know you have no friends."

By this time, I was feeling heartbroken. I wanted to know why she would do anything like this. I knew that she wasn't the type of person to say mean things like this to anyone. 

She ended the letter " I've been meaning to tell you this for a long while. I have talked to a few classmates and my mother and they have all agreed that I should tell you this in person. Everyone thinks that you were born differently so we're going to continue to pray for you. I don't care what you think about me after, it doesn't matter anymore."

I was devastated. I felt really stupid for believing in her. I had no desire in making friends anymore. I wanted to hide somewhere and never be found. I wanted to be alone. 

That was my experience and I want to give you a few tips on how to detect real friends and fake friends. 

How to know who real friends are?

1. Try a trust test.
Talk to your friend and tell him/her a made up secret, for example, when I was younger I used to steal things from the teacher's desk, or something like that. This test will prove if your friend can keep a secret. If they share the secret to someone else, then it's obvious that your friend isn't trustworthy.

2. Watch how comfortable your friend is around you.
While you are hanging out with your friend, make sure that you pay attention to her body language. Ask yourself questions such as, is she pretending to be happy? Is there something she/he isn't comfortable with? True friendships are hard to develop, if she/he is comfortable with you, then you should feel comfortable with them.

3.  Determine his/her loyalty.
If you get in a argument with your friend, test her and watch if she would blurt out on of your secrets. If she/he blurts it out then, she/he isn't loyal. You can also test to see if she would stand up for you. For example, you're in a heated argument with a group of girls/boys and your friend stands up for you by saying "leave him/her alone." and you walk off together. That's an example of loyalty, it shows that your friend is by your side. 

How to know who fake friends are?

1. People who don't remember your birthday!
If you hangout with someone very often, one of the first things they should know from the very start, is your birthday. Imagine how you would feel if someone forgot your birthday for something not important. For example, let's say it's your birthday and you said to your friend "Do you know what day it is?" and your friend replies "Oh right, I'm going to the mall with some of my friends." Wouldn't you feel unimportant?

2. People who aren't interested on how your life is going.
If your friend can't bother to ask how your day went, or what have you been up to, then obviously your friend doesn't have the slightest bit of care for you. Don't waste your time on people who don't matter.

3. People who always cancel on you.
It's really upsetting when your friends constantly cancel on you. It makes you feel like they don't want to hangout with you for some unknown reason. It makes you so concerned for someone who doesn't have the nerve to tell you that they don't want to hangout with you. It's better to say the truth at one time, rather than keeping it for a while, lies build up easily, and it will make it hard for you to clear it up.

In conclusion, these are my tips to you on how to ensure that you have a true friend and not a fake friend. You don't want to go through my situation because it takes a long while to recover from having a lot of self-hatred. From this experience, I learned to never trust people unless you are sure that they are trust-worthy. Even though, I moved to a new school, they still gossip about me behind my back, but at least i've moved on and they are still behind. I hope this helped you in a way that has touched you specially. I wish the best to my readers. Thank you for reading!